2. LEITH, SCOTLAND
“This is a case in which I need more than words to find the meaning. This is a case in which I need whatever it is I think or believe to be penetrable, if only for myself.”
—(Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking, 2005)
A 'Visitation' from Mum KAT HEALY She arrives at the oddest of times like when I chop neeps for tea with sweet potatoes she hovers at the window a reflection on the cooker the pinch of her grin all teeth and cheekbones scares the hell out of me at first I wrestle veg into a tin cook for an hour she taught me that I think? I’d love to ask her but she won’t stay long in the kitchen I clatter plates together I think it’s the fan scares her away it rumbles with steam she shivers a wisp of fragrance could be the roasties either way, it evaporates the steam then Mum. — (from 'Ripening', 2023)
I’d wake to guttural sounds—restless echoes (coming from me). I’d scratch at static noise—“Fade to black, please, fade to black”.
I was certain, “She was here, I saw her, we were in the kitchen—she was just here”, convincing no one because no one was there.
Just me in a liminal space.
Now, I handle them better, the visitations.
She doesn’t age. She’s reflected light—a shadow to trace in my mind's eye.
‘Dream Angus’, a traditional Scottish folk song performed by / Thilo Pfander ©2023
The full song will be available on Substack tomorrow, 19th September 2023.
This month, I’m releasing a series of short extracts and reflections from my first poetry pamphlet, ‘Ripening’, due in 2024. The pamphlet will be accompanied by original artwork and songs.
As an indie artist, I’m self-publishing my pamphlet. If you haven’t already, please consider subscribing to support my work.
Thank you! Kat x
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